June 13, 2007
Categories: Relationships, Sex, Videos . . Author: justmal . Comments: Enter your password to view comments
- Just Mal
21
Melbourne, Australia
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A 10 minute aerial trip over the paradise island of Sri Lanka, featured on National Geographic, Discovery and Travel & Living Channels.
Sadly, having lived most of my life in Colombo and overseas, I haven’t been to most of these places. I have no idea what this Lion Rock and Adam’s Peak are like. Never had much interest until I saw this video anyway. I was born in the lush Hill Country, so I’ve got faint memories of misty waterfalls and running through a tea estate looking for an orange tree. I’ve been to the ancient cities when my father was involved in all those education projects, but I could only remember malnutritioned rural kids with strange accents being rude to me and my little brother. The heat and humidity in the dry zone was unbearable and there were malevolent looking humongous red coconut wasps. I think we got busted for buying cured game and deerskin from Veddahs.
The down South was awesome, I jumped off a boat in Unawatuna once and got hit by it. The people are amazingly superstitious there. I want to go back there and drink some virgin coconut toddy and perhaps even smoke a bit of Thanamalvila imported. The view from Mihintale was bloody awesome except that it’s got major OH&S issues – I almost fell off the top. Driving in Hambantota/Kataragama was maxxa, the road was straight and deserted, no speed cameras, rest of the family were asleep what with the balmy wind from the salt lakes and all – you just see the sun setting over the ocean on your left, and you could just hope to run over a monkey once every few kilometres.
I want to go back. Boooo….
He also insults me as being representative of the achiles (sic) heel of democracy. Rest assured though, Michael, because I’m a a fairly harmless liberal at heart. I’m too much of a kalu sudda to actually be elected to power in the Ol’ Republic.
Teen caught racing at over 200 kph
i don’t mean to be racist, but slankans simply cannot understand the concept of a speed limit. i’ve got a friend who does 180 in a little back street in scoresby on the way to uni every damn day. and he reckons his dad drives faster. this is probably the reason why you never ever ever see a lanki taxi driver in melbourne. and why do all these lankstas have such flash cars. all my friends have skylines, bmws, soarers, supras, evos and anything else u’d see on 2f2f. i think they dont have any money to eat after paying for the cars. indians drive taxis at work, and then they have an old yellow falcon (taxi in a previous life) or some such crap at home
what my car could look like
when i used to work for 3mob, i would speed home every day from cranbourne at about 150 on my puny little auto corolla until the engine melted down. my celica is much better, it can easily outdo a crummidore v8 past a red light. but look wut’s happened to it since i’ve bought it. the front axel is bent, doors won’t open so i never lock the car, the bumper’s fallen off, i’ve bumped into two cars (one was.. wait for it………….. a damn tow truck), it doesn’t start most of the time, i have to get new tyres every 2 months… but hey, it’s got a killer sunroof and a kickass audio system, so who cares.
in sri lanka i drove a big fat lancer. never gave a damn about the speed limit. u’d bribe a cop if u get caught, which was like.. never. i mean i’d drive past the parliament every day (and damn what a picturesque road that is.. lake on one side, ppl humping in cars on the other) and they just don’t care. i’ve had two major crashes in colombo. once i was soooooo hungry on a poya day so everything was closed, it was like past midnight so i was speeding along this really familiar bend in kotte, and suddenly i lost control and crashed into a wall and landed sideways in a ditch. sum tired soldiers from the army bus that i’d just overtaken came to my rescue. they lifted my car up and sum dude was telling me that he was the one who got them to come and would i wanna “set-wenna” (ie: have a drink). i think the bugger was after money. anyway i drove home and parked the car in the porch in the hope that no one would notice the damage, but my parents saw it next morning and it was shit.
the other time i was racing my friend on gregory’s road one evening, and the funny thing about sri lanka is that it’s illegal to overtake from the left. when i did, the car on the right turned into me so naturally (of course) i fled. then a very surprised old gentleman (this was near that big roundabout in front of royal park) who was coming from the cotta road bumped into me from the left. damn hell.. i was trying to rev up so fast that i got stuck in the pavement near maccas. anywayz i managed to get myself out of there but then the cops started following me from out of nowhere. apparently the first guy called them and said a suspicious vehicle just crashed into his car and drove away and it looks like a terrorist or a bank robber or some shit. i mean wtf! they almost took me into custody. anywayz the good thing about sl is that u always manage to get urself out of crap like this and i got off after paying the guy some money for the damage.
one of the most embarrasing situations in sri lanka was when i went to pick up my friend after her stupid play or sum shit at ladies college or the wendt or something. can’t remember exactly. anywayz there was i talking to her on the phone and she said my boyfriend’s actually coming. i was like wah. some cunt rocked up in a fucking ferrari. yes a ferrari. a red open top f355. i mean owns this shit. i think it was some singer or something. how could u possibly compete with a ferrari driving a damn lancer. i wish wish wish i had a better car. chathuranga came to school in his own chauffered e-class and montero in 10th grade and he was screwing nirosha perera or some one.
nirosha
oh another time.. this was when i first smoked mj, i had to drive home in a really really strange road full of potholes and shite. oncoming cars looked like thoran. and my engine was overheating so i had to stop the car every 10 mins. then my battery was dead so i could only stop on a slope so i could push start it.. god the trouble i had. this was when camera phones first came out so i thought it’d be a good idea to drive looking at the road thru the phone. lol. i was so wasted that i thought i’d better eat something before going home hoping that’d help ease off the high. i parked at some dental clinic driveway and went to flower dragon or something in maharagama to get some flied lice. there were some guys cracking jokes wit each other and i started laughling like a dick. they thought i was trying to insult them or something. damn.. anywayz then i tried to go and find my car and found that the dentist actually lives there and he’d parked his car behind me blocking the exit. i didnt wanna confront him so i started to move bricks or some shit so that i could reverse past his car before he comes out when he hears me push-starting my car in his front yard. ppl thought i was trying to steal my own car or something.. very embarassing. anywayz, these are just a few of my car stories. more to come.
Victorian police are stepping up their crackdown on hoon drivers, after a teenager was caught driving at more than 200 kilometres per hour (kph) on the Monash Freeway.
Police believe the driver had been involved in illegal street racing and have impounded his BMW.
The 19-year-old student from Sri Lanka has been charged with dangerous driving.
Assistant Commissioner Noel Ashby says he could face far more serious offences for driving at such a high speed.
“This guy is bordering on criminal culpability in my view and he was ready to kill someone,” he said.
“It was just fortunate that we were able to stop him on this occasion.”
Assistant Commissioner Ashby has defended the laws that see cars impounded for 48 hours for a first offence.
“Targeting the car on the first occasion allows for 48 hours and we’re happy with that, that sends a message and we’ve seen the faces of these people as their cars are pulled up on the flat tops and taken away,” he said.
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- To justify the International Cricket Council’s insistence on having a 51-match, 47-day marathon when they could have chosen the easier option – hand the trophy to Australia at the start itself.
- To provide a grand finale to the least-watched cricket World Cup in history. TV viewership dropped nearly 40 percent compared to the 2003 edition, according to industry estimates.
- To delight the rest of the cricket world and billions of passionate fans from Kingston to Karachi and Manchester to Mumbai who support their own teams or anyone that plays against Australia.
- To justify pre-World Cup boasts by most rivals, including minnows Ireland, that Australia were a beatable side. They have not only won all their 10 matches so far, but Matthew Hayden scored more runs (621) and Glenn McGrath claimed more wickets (25) than anyone else in the competition.
- To prove that Australia’s five consecutive losses against England and New Zealand before the World Cup were not a flash in the pan. Even though the champions were resting star players like captain Ricky Ponting and Adam Gilchrist.
- To prevent cricket from becoming a yawn. After all, even the die-hard fans get tired of watching one team win all the time. Australia have not lost a World Cup match since May, 1999 and now chase their third consecutive title.
- To justify the age-old saying that cricket, especially the limited-overs variety, is an unpredictable sport. There is nothing more predictable in the game than an Australian win.
- Sri Lanka will be popular winners. Australians are unpopular, rude, arrogant. So says Indian legend Sunil Gavaskar, the ICC’s pointman for all cricket-related matters.
- Do it for Bob. Slain Pakistan coach Bob Woolmer spent a lifetime, first as England batsman and then as South Africa’s coach, plotting Australia’s downfall without any success. His widow, Gill, wanted South Africa to win the semi-final. The grief-stricken lady deserves a better deal.
- Finally, Sri Lanka must win it for themselves. They have played outstanding cricket and deserve to be in the final – as the second-best team in the tournament.
so it was easter eve, and and after pimping stock for half price on the PA until my throat was sore i decided to make sum other biaches take over. i mean wtf am i the only one destined for public whoredom? no one bloody wanted to do it so i had to wrestle wit this chick and literally lift her up and drag her to the microphone and bribe her wit chocolates and threaten to strangle her to get her going. she just stood there looking so cute and i just realised omg this french-chinese-mauritian girl is like the prettiest of the pretty ppl i’ve ever ever seen. it just hit me like a lightening. obviously this would later be replaced by mild annoyance and sadistic indifference, but yet omg i felt as if i was in luv for one little passing moment with this sweet sweet tiny bundle of pretty.. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i’m not really into cricket but seeing the desis devastated after being gangraped by the lankies in trinidad and getting kicked out of the world cup was right up there with seeing Arab terrorists crying when Bush shock n awed Iraq. btw do you know that like half the people in india can’t read or write. most of them worship cows and stone phalluses too. maybe that’s why these ppl go and burn down players’ houses when they lose a match. you’d never see something like that happening in sl. 
So am I smart? I’ve never had a proper IQ test done, and if we believe the online ones, mine should be in the range of 130 to 150. Now that makes me fairly intelligent, but unfortunately, no, we don’t believe online tests, so that’s not much help.
Am I stupid? To use a distinctly Sri Lankan nomenclature, I could be a bit tubelight at times. The reason may well be that it takes a lot for me to hold attention (do I have ADD?), and therefore I’ve got a fairly long learning curve when it comes to simple manual tasks. I always tend to lose my stuff, keys, phone, wallet etc and only find them when I’ve bought replacements. Things that I’m obligated to do, especially school work, take a lot of motivation to follow through.
On the other hand, I have the most amazing memory. I always surprise people with remembering trivial details from times far far away with complete clarity. I must have good genes, because both my parents are very smart people. I’m a whore for intellectual stimulation. I could literally spend days researching the most useless and complex (therefore compelling) subjects.
I could understand why people like dumb chicks. I’ve always been drawn to emotionally intense people, and the strength of my feelings for some people just scare me so much that I try to avoid them at all costs. This is why Asian chicks, especially Chinese girls in Melbourne who don’t speak much English, are so much better. They are cute like dolls, very sweet and tight but more importantly, you could not possibly feel anything for them except physical attraction, because communication is limited to the rudimentary level. The only people I’m wary of are those who just draw me in with the profundity of their thoughts and feelings, cleverness of wit, richness of imagination, talents for self expression and other beautiful traits, because I just fall in love with them so deeply that I could never ever tell them how I really feel.
Got a bit off course there, but to reiterate a point, I want to find out if I’m really smart or not. I mean true, I got 8 Distinctions for OLevels, but what have I done after that? To find out for sure, I’ve decided to put in my best effort for this semester’s studies. For the first time in my life, not only have I attended 100% of the classes, I’ve actually been there on time. All the people who know me from the 3 countries I’ve schooled in probably won’t even believe this is even possible, because I can’t recall a single time – and I mean that quite literally – that I haven’t been late to school. I even got elected (well, I was unopposed) to the students’ rep council, and I’ve been trying to suck up to my teachers, all of whom are dumb fucks except for Terry Gibson. The idea is to get HDs (>80%) for all the units and if possible, top the class at least in one subject.
There are other fringe benefits as well. First is purely financial, because there are lots of rich dumb kids in my school and you could easily make some extra cash for Dunhills by doing their assignments. The other was perfected my favourite ALevel Business Studies teacher of all time, Ewen Ewe, who was a short, fat funny bastard and he got laid by sitting at the front of the class (he went to Monash) and answering all the questions and then helping out all the hot dumb Chinese chicks.
Something interesting about Chinese students in Melbourne is that they are all filthy rich, but don’t really have the motivation or the academic competence to study, partly so because English2Mandarin dictionaries are utterly misleading. This does not apply to, for instance, ethnic-Chinese girls from Hong-Kong, Indonesia or Mauritius, because they are all very smart but not so rich, and therefore try to make the best use of the money they spend here. So these rich chicks from China pass their exams by sleeping with geeks (but not dorks) such as Ewen, and I’m talking about the ones that you need a pimped up GTR and a Rolex to pick up, not the garden variety Springvale types.
I’m not just doing this to push my mental threshold. Apparently, you could get a placement in one of the top financial firms quite easily if you have all HDs. I’ve actually changed my career goal from being an Accountant to something with a bit more bling to its name, such as an investment banker or some other sort of a finance professional. I haven’t had anything challenging yet because I’m simply studying the things I’ve been studying for the last 5 or 6 years (bring on the Maslow). Let’s wait and see how this goes.
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